Friday, September 24, 2010

A friend noted that I now have my own little fan club with almost 400 fans. It's weird, but thrilling at the same time.

A part of me always have a dream of publishing entries of this blog as a collection, though nobody would ever read them but me. I also have a dream of publishing my own craft books, even though only some will read them. There's a satisfaction of knowing that you leave your mark in the world, no matter how small it is.

Another selfish part of me merely wanted to be recognised, and wanted people to envy what I can do. As much as I envy what other people have done with their lives.

But the most part of me simply just don't want to be forgotten.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

I'm feeling... content? Sad? Jealous? Happy? All of the above?

Perhaps it was too early to say, since the real deal usually doesn't hit me until at least a week has passed. Or a month. Or even a year. (at this point, I had just googled Delayed Emotional Response and found out I'm not actually alone). I'm trying not to think about it too much, and as usual, pretense ignorance seems to be a bliss. (Oh! I'm not THAT blind  not to know that it's not, but I'm always pretending that it is anyway. Am pathetic, am I not?)