Friday, June 26, 2009

I was talking to Sara about the good old days in IIU today, and the sweet & sour stories of my weird IIU friends started to pour in haha. It's been a while since I last talked about them, and it felt like going back to one of those days. And while chatting, I suddenly remembered a friend's remark way back in 2000:

"You know what Miyyah,
I've known you as one committed person.
You are committed to yourself.
You are committed to your family.
You are committed to your study.
You are committed to your clubs and societies.
But it's weird that you can't commit to a relationship."

Ouch. Painful to the ears, but true enough. Why can't I?

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

It's twice this week I dreamt of similar things.

I missed my airplane.

The first time was few days ago. I dreamt I woke up late, and a friend called telling me that the plane was about to take off. I was still at home, in my night dress, trying to digest the information. The time was 2.30 pm and I was supposed to be on the 3 pm flight. There's no way I could be able to catch the flight. I thought of trying, but I woke up before I even gave it a try.

Last night I dreamt of another similar dream. I was already at the airport, and queuing up for passport check. Then I was on my way to the plane, and to be safe, I boarded the transit bus to get there fast. I could see the plane waiting for me, but then the bus took a turn into a different route, with the driver giving excuses like he needed to pick up few more passengers. He promised us on the bus that we'll be on time for our flight but there was a very heavy traffic on the way back. I remember someone sitting beside me on the bus, a familiar figure.

I woke up not knowing what happened next.

The question is, what opportunities have I missed?

Monday, June 22, 2009

What's in a name, by which we called a rose,
for any other name would smell as sweet.

That has always been one of my favourite quotations from Shakespeare.

The good thing about having a long name is that you got to be called with many different names. For example, Wan is only used for official purposes - like when I'm talking to a not-so-closed acquaintances or lecturers. It's just normal for them to call me by my first official name.

And when it's Yyah, it's only meant for family members. And really close friends who'd known me for years. And yes, only family members get to called me by that name, as I don't feel very comfortable for others to call me the same.

Oh. And some of the family members tend to call me Mi as well.

Most of my school friends (primary & secondary) had known me as Miah, and for some others the spelling should be Miyyah. Over the years in IIU, Miyyah is the common name that is known to everyone. And sometimes, they used to minus one Y (Miyah) just because they thought having 2Ys is too repetitive haha.

When I joined the workforce, I planned to use Miyyah still. Most of my colleagues still called me by that name, but all my bosses and not-so-close office colleagues knew me as Mia. Just because it's the easiest way to spell a name that sounds like Miyyah. Haha. Plus, my boss says that a three-letter word is easier to remember than a six-letter word. You know, working in a busy office needs me to shorten my name so it'd be shorter to write.

And the grad school proved to be the place where everybody knows me as Mia. Haha. The friends, the lecturers, the classmates etc. It was either Mia, or Miya. How'd that happened? Well, I did introduce myself as Miyyah, but somehow they misheard me saying Mia and continue to call me so. Oh well. Doesn't matter anyway.

I don't really care how they spell my name, or how people call me. From a W N*jmiyyah, I've been called lots and lots of names, and it's spelt in many different ways. It doesn't really matter (although the weirdest name-calling I've heard so far is Nia haha), as long as I know I'm the one baring the name. What matters is what I am, and not how I'm called. :)

However, the only problem that I have is that I'm just curious to know why these same people don't even prefer a Najmi, when that's where the best part of my name lies. Hmmm...

Call me Najmi... anyone? :P

Thursday, June 18, 2009

The good thing about being an English/ TESL graduate is that the jobs are looking for you, and not you looking for jobs. Knowing I'm a few months' short from finishing my Masters, I start receiving smses and calls from friends who care. Some offered permanent jobs at their respective colleges, and some others simply forwarded msgs of wanted lecturers somewhere.

I'm still holding on though. Am not planning of applying a permanent job anywhere, until I've done my thesis, and ready with my Phd proposal. Oh yes, I dream of doing PhD. And hope to be able to do it as soon as possible. So I'm looking for a place that would be able to support my dream.

So while holding on to the dream, yesterday I received another offer for a part-timer. At a very warm place that I know I'd fit in very well (as compared to my previous part-time job). Since it's only part-time (10 hours per week), and the classes would be arranged according to my time, I decided to give it a try.

So I went and filled up the form today. And met the HOD. And InsyaAllah, they'll confirm the time-table soon. And as I wandered around the campus, I couldn't stop myself from smiling and feeling genuinely excited. It feels weird to be in the same place again. To think that I might start working there is even weirder.

Oh well. Life is a roller coaster after all.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009


Oh. Why scandal?

Well, firstly, it's because the word rhymes with Saigon. Secondly, it represents all the sweet Vietnamese we've met during the trip. Thirdly, scandal has become our favourite word there so it's only appropriate to be included in the title.

It was my second overseas trip with the faculty, and probably my last. They're planning to go to Bandung in the next trip, and I wish I could join but it's a fat chance since I'm graduating in few months' time.

Ho Chi Minh's experience was different from the one we had in Melbourne, but I love it nevertheless. We're more like sisters in Melbourne, but I feel more like teenagers looking for adventures when I was in Saigon. Since I did not present any paper, and just went for a sole purpose of having fun, I did have fun. I found some new good friends, expanded my Terengganu and Asian network, and managed to practised my negotiating and flirting skills as well.

Vietnamese and Melbournians has one thing in common: they like to smile. And trust me, Vietnamese smiles are very contagious. It warmed your heart, and made you feel at home. Despite the language barrier, most of the Vietnamese I've met can understand basic English and the best part is of course, when we've met some Vietnamese whom can even understand basic Malay. Isn't that exciting?

Both universities that we went were very receptive in their own manners. The first one was a bit informal, having the presentations and discussions in the classroom. The second one was more seminar-like, and was held in a formal seminar room, complete with rostrum and mic. The outcome was fruitful as well.

I've learned more about Vietnam history in 5 days than in 5 years learning history in school. I had fun daring myself out - from leading the whole pack into the darkest guerilla's tunnel to going into it's smallest entrance to road-crossing in HCM city to flirting openly with Vietnamese guys haha. The rest of the gang even nicknamed me "the Daredevil" hahaha.

When I first started my masters, it had never occured in my mind that I would have the chance to go to places I've never dreamed of before. I am, after all, a full time student with an unstable part-time jobs. But as I always said, you'll never know the rezeki of being a student. And I'm glad that I'm in UiTM right now. :)

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Background music: Menanti Cinta by Krisdayanti (song by Melly Goeslaw - OST Ketika Cinta Bertasbih)

I can't talk about guys with my married friends anymore.

It hurts to say that, but that's a fact. I've tried, but things seems to come out differently from my mouth. I guess when your friends are married, and you're not, you tend talk about different things compared to when you're both single-unmarried women.

It's a fact, so don't try to deny it.

It's two different worlds and even a simple statement would result in different answers. For example, let's revise this statement:

"There's a cute guy I've met."

An unmarried friend would probably reply with a statement:

"Realllyyyy? How cute? Like whom? Tinggi tak? Chinese look? Malay look? Mat Salleh look? Did you talk to him??!"

but a married friend actually replied with:

"How serious are you in the relationship? You should find a husband, not a boyfriend."

Can you see the difference? Sorry my dear married friends, but again, that's a fact. And that reply had taunted me everytime I tried talking about guys with my married friends. That's why it always ended up differently from the way I wanted. It feels weird to giggle about cute guys anymore, and that same statement was like trying to put my feet on the ground and snapped me from the giggles and was like saying

Stop it miyyah. you're not a teenage girl anymore. Stop giggling. And start acting like a matured adult.

And it hurts so bad. So matured adults can't giggle anymore ya.

So don't blame me when I start to hang around younger kids. I'm not trying to become a teenager, nor that I want to. I'm proud of being 31 and I get that. But being 31 should not stop anyone from having fun. I just want to have people who would listen, and giggle at the same joke. Laugh and embarrased when being approach by a guy. Scream and pick on each other looking at funny pictures. I missed being a kid again.

And I can't do that with my married friends anymore.

All they talk about is their childen, their husbands, their careers. And their new cars. And houses. And what should I talked about? Oh. My niece and nephews then. My plan careers. My old car and my sister's house. Oh, and any guy topic would end up with a marriage lecture. No more giggles. No more blushes. Everytime I put up a guy's issue, they would start asking whether the guy's a husband material. I'm getting tired of that, and it turns my mood off. So that's why I ended up not talking about any guy-related topics anymore. Because the marriend friends had become some bored housewives though they're not trying to marry me off to the first guy that I mentioned.

Even if they're not, at least that's what I feel.

Nobody wants to be alone, and everybody hates to be lonely. That's a fact. And nobody wants to remain single the rest of her life as well. And that's a fact as well.

They used to be single, but it seems like once they've crossed into the marriage border, they'd become different sets of friends to me. Friends that are hard to relate to.