Thursday, July 31, 2008

I presented on Written Academic Discourse today. And Prof H (yes, the same Prof H last semester) said she's impressed with how I was able to translate the complicated article (the one I read with my eyes bled haha) into layman's words. She said I should consider doing Linguistics as my major.

The only thing she still doesn't know is that I already majored in Linguistics for my degree. Hahahahaha. But of course, I can't tell her that. Or else she would expect too much from me. After all, it's been 6 years since my degree so I hardly remember a thing about discourse. I only remember how I was once really passionate about Discourse and Grammatical Analysis (when others HATED the subjects). And I was once considering a Masters in Applied Lingustics.

Too bad I have a very bad memory or else I dont have to start from scratch again. And perhaps then I would seriously considering Prof H's suggestion.

Oh. I think she really likes me ;p So.. another A perhaps?

(ayak riak muahahaha)

Who cares. It's my blog after all. I can brag all I want.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

26 July.

Normally we remember dates which have special attachments with our lives and the most remembered shall be the ones that have jubilation, mirth, happiness and fond memories.

I had a terrible time wiping my tears away when I reached home last night. By the time I opened the bedroom door my eyes were swollen with tears that blurred my vision.

26th July was a special to me for the last 34 years and 32 of which were shared with my wife. Your mother. Yesterday and yesteryear I tried to push away the memories that beserked me all nights long. 26 July was our wedding. Mine and mak.

As I am typing these messages, I am wiping my tears away. I could not help it. It kept rolling down my face. Oh lord, giver me enough strength to keep me sober. Grant me the wisdom to choose the right path.

It is moment like this that I wisj I have my kids around me. I shall let you know how I suffered just to keep my head high and my back straight just to let my kids know I am OK. I may look unshaken all these months but Allah knows best. I always took a peep at the photographs of mak at her best. All day long in my lsat sujud I request Allah to shower the best rahmat on her. That way I helped me keep my cool. My sanity. My strength.
for her.

Sunday 27 July2008 842 pm

Saturday, July 26, 2008


On happy note today. Am going to see Chelsea vs Malaysia next Tuesday.


It doesn't matter I have presentations on Wednesday and Thursday.


It doesn't matter I still owe Dr. F my thesis proposal.


It doesn't matter I don't even like Chelsea.


What matter most is that I got free ticket.


Oh. On another note, received news that I'll be presenting during our Melbourne trip. :)


Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Our Melbourne trip is... ON! InsyaAllah...

It will be on 24th - 27th of August 2008. And only 5 are going.

Wish me luck.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

I've been followed on my way back from class tonight. I remember seeing a white Iswara behind my car when I was coming out from the school gate, and I then realised that the Iswara was following my car too close. At first I tried giving ways by diverting my car to the left lane, but then the car kept on trailing behind. I lost it for a while at one of the roundabouts, but later I saw (from the mirror) the car chasing behind and slowed down right when it reached behind my car. And I started to worry when it kept on following very, very close. So I diverted from the original route home and driving towards a nearby McD instead. I thought of stopping for a quick Sundae just to see whether the car was still following me. Luckily at one point I lost the car at traffic light. For safety precaution, I keep on going on different ways until I was really sure that the car was no longer behind me, then only I made my way home.

I still have to keep looking behind my back as I still have classes for the next two nights. Just in case anything happens to me, find a White Iswara (if it still follows me tomorrow night, I'll make sure I'll get the plate number and advertise here for the whole world to see).

And I'm not scared.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

I found this video on youtube.

And I can't stop crying.

I miss mum.
Kita bertanya : KENAPA AKU DIUJI?


"Apakah manusia itu mengira bahawa mereka dibiarkan saja mengatakan; "Kami telah beriman," ("I am full of faith to Allah") sedangkan mereka tidak diuji? Dan sesungguhnya Kami telah menguji org2 yg sebelum mereka, maka sesungguhnya Allah mengetahui org2 yg benar dan, sesungguhnya Dia mengetahui org2 yg dusta."

-Surah Al-Ankabut ayat 2-3-



"Boleh jadi kamu membenci sesuatu padahal ia amat baik bagimu, dan boleh jadi pula kamu menyukai sesuatu, padahal ia amat buruk bagimu, Allah mengetahui sedang kamu tidak mengetahui."

- Surah Al-Baqarah ayat 216-



"Allah tidak membebani seseorang itu melainkan sesuai dengan kesanggupannya."

- Surah Al-Baqarah ayat 286-

Kita bertanya : KENAPA RASA FRUST?


"Jgnlah kamu bersikap lemah, dan jgnlah pula kamu bersedih hati, padahal kamulah org2 yg paling tinggi darjatnya, jika kamu org2 yg beriman."

- Surah Al-Imran ayat 139-



"Wahai orang-orang yang beriman! Bersabarlah kamu (menghadapi segala kesukaran dalam mengerjakan perkara-perkara yang berkebajikan) , dan kuatkanlah kesabaran kamu lebih daripada kesabaran musuh, di medan perjuangan), dan bersedialah (dengan kekuatan pertahanan di daerah-daerah sempadan) serta bertaqwalah (be fearfull of Allah The Almighty) kamu kepada Allah supaya, kamu berjaya (mencapai kemenangan). "

"Dan mintalah pertolongan (kepada Allah) dengan jalan sabar dan mengerjakan sembahyang; dan sesungguhnya sembahyang itu amatlah berat kecuali kepada orang-orang yang khusyuk"

- Surah Al-Baqarah ayat 45-



"Sesungguhnya Allah telah membeli dari org2 mu'min, diri, harta mereka dengan memberikan syurga utk mereka..."

- Surah At-Taubah ayat 111-



"Cukuplah Allah bagiku, tidak ada Tuhan selain dari Nya. Hanya kepadaNya aku bertawakkal. "

- Surah At-Taubah ayat 129-

Kita bertanya: AKU TAK DAPAT TAHAN!!!


"... ..dan jgnlah kamu berputus asa dr rahmat Allah. Sesungguhnya tiada berputus asa dr rahmat Allah melainkan kaum yg kafir."

- Surah Yusuf ayat 12 -

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

I was on my way back from Komuter Batu 3 (I went to Subang Parade for Big Apple crave) at around 6.30 pm this evening when a car behind beam its light, alarming me that I had a flat tire. I stopped by the roadside and realised that with that kind of pancit, I would never make it home. So I immediately called Kak Yong and asked for Abang Amad. Thank God he's already home.

So, when I described the details of where I was, that's when I realised that I was actually in the middle of nowhere. Ok, still by the road side but the place is a little bit spooky at 6.30 pm. On my right was an apartment that's still under construction and on my left was a graveyard. Things got spookier (is there such word?) when I realised that the passerby were mostly foreign workers who worked for a nearby kilang. It scares me a bit, as I was alone, and after searching the whole car, I realised that I was a bit vulnerable since I only have my Auntie Anne's Lemonade and Big Apple donuts as my weapons.

I remembered what my ayah used to tell us (over and over again) that if you're alone and you have a flat tire, don't stop until you really think you're safe. Especially at nights. Because there are many things people can do to a lonely girl with a flat tire in the middle of nowhere. And to think that the crime rates are peaking after the fuel hike does chill me a bit.

So in a quick thinking, I jumped to the co-driver seat instead of sitting at the driver's seat and lock the door. Then while waiting for Abang Mat to arrive, I finished up my lemonade and take big bites of the donuts. Once in a while, I pretend talking on the phone (really good at that heehe), and sometimes I pretend like I was looking out for someone (as if I'm waiting for my driver to be there at any moment).

That's my way of telling people, the passerby that I wasn't alone in the car. That I was waiting for someone. That I eat donuts because there's nothing to worry about.

And when Abang Mat arrived, I've never felt such relief to see him.

My point is, if you're alone, or if you like to wander alone - like me, please make sure that:

1. You know when to be brave.
For example, I went to watch a movie few weeks back with a female cousin aged 19 at One Utama, and at one point, we were surrounded by a group of teenagers. One of them was rude enough to jump right in front of my cousin and ask for her phone number. She was really scared because there were about 5 of them and two of us. Knowing that we just walked out from Vincci and there's still a guard at the door, I decided to be brave. So I stared at the boys and put up my teaching mask. I was really close to give them one of my lectures but then, they happened to saw how upset I was and stopped the harassment.

3. You know your surroundings.
Imagine if you're me. Walking alone at 6.00 am with two huge bags from Hentian Putra to Komuter station. If you're familiar with the area, you'll notice that it'll take about 0.5 to 1 km walk towards the station (I don't know how to estimate the distance), and the most worrying part was when you reached the bridge where there hardly any light (at 6) and you're out of the view. That's when anything can happen. So if you're going to be alone at 6 am, but two heavy bags, make up stories. Ok, normally I would walk when I know I'm surrounded by other passerby (especially men) because they can help if anything happen to me . How do I trust them? I'll make sure they're carrying big bags as well (means they're going home and not harassing me).

4. You're creative enough to make up stories when in desperate need of one.
Pretend. Pretend. Pretend. I once pretend to be a medical doctor who's rushing for an appointment (hahahha... seriously!). A stranger's girlfriend. A policeman's girlfriend. A stood-up girlfriend who has a bf who's always late for dates (works when you're watching movie alone). A woman who talks to herself (and once a guy seriously approached me and asked whether I was ok). A wife (when being approached by unwanted stangers). A mute girl. A mother who's fetching her kids from nursery. But never a woman who walks alone.

4. You look confident
It's very important that you feel belong. Even if you're not familiar of the place you're in (your first time etc), just pretend that you've been there for the thousandth time. How do you know that you're confident enough? One thing I notice is that when people ask you for directions to go somewhere, it means you look confident enough that people think you're really familiar with the place they're going. Having a slightest doubt on your face can make you vulnerable.

5. You know how to run.
That's why you have to know your footwears. If you're going to shopping mall, you can wear hills because there're many people around and you don't have to run. Just find people in uniform that can protect you - guards, police, McD manager etc. If you're going somewhere in an open space, wear sandals. If you're driving, you can wear hills. Hills can be a weapon too.

6. You have a LOUD voice. if in need, you can scream your heart out. Or bring a whistle with you. Make some noise. If you can't use your mouth, use your hands, your feet and your head. (Literally).

7. You always bring a weapon
Be creative with your preferred weapon- perfume (spray), army knife (stab), tweezers (poke in the eye), high hills (for the head), compact powder (throw) - you never know when you'll need them.

7. You have a very good instinct about people.
Always remember not all strangers are good people. But not all strangers are bad either. Trust your instinct - if you have even a slightest doubt upon a person, don't ever trust him/her. You might risk your life there. And handsome guys do not necessarily be as good as they look.

Just be careful, ok. So far, alhamdulillah... I'm still able to protect myself. :)

Saturday, July 05, 2008

"You know what, this crooked little finger will be famous one day. A day will come when I'll be demonstrating my crafts on tv and you guys will be watching from the comfort of your home. There will be a moment when you'll be flipping magazines- be it Wanita, Jelita or even Cleo, and you'll see this crooked little finger be featured in one of the craft columns. Even if they don't show my face, or mention my name, you'll know it's me. Because of the crooked little famous finger."

I said that to my friends back in the uni. They said they'll wait for that day to come. I'm waiting for that day to arrive as well, so I could sms all my friends and say: DO YOU RECOGNISE THAT CROOKED LITTLE FINGER ON _________?

Yeah. I'll patiently await for that day come. For the time being, miyyah@kertas is blooming with potential clients. Hahaha. In less than a week after its official opening, I received 2 online orders (2 cards and 3 frames to be done).

Not a bad start after all. Maybe this crooked little finger is destined to be famous after all. Hahahahahaha.

(One day, I hope.)

Friday, July 04, 2008

I'm worried. I'm stressed. I'm depressed. I've been thinking a lot lately. I've been creating all those unthinkable stories in my head, and starts believing them. It scares me. It is so difficult to remain positive still, and I keep on thinking otherwise and it hurts a lot.

I always get great ideas when I'm not in a right state of mind. I made cards when I'm worried (My cards collection mounts to 4 shoe boxes now). I fold papers when I'm down. Yesterday I've made 5 name tags for Lovescrap challenge. The day before it was 7. Now its becoming obvious that I worry a lot lately.

And to think that I don't want to think about other things than my scraps is even worrier.

I want to cry.
I want to run away.
I'm terrified.
I'm worried sick.

I'm scared that I have to live like this forever. Oh Tuhan... what have I done?

Thursday, July 03, 2008

Sampai bila
Menanti hujan teduh
Menunggu bulan jauh

Sampai bila
Menggapai bintang seribu
Merungkai awan biru

Sampai bila
Menyentuh pasir putih
Menganyam ombak jerih

Akan tiba waktu
Langkah pasti bertamu.

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

I've to cancel my wayang plan today. Reason? KERETA AKU KENA LANGGAR beb...

I'm so upset now, but glad that everything's settled within the day itself. I went to S18 with the kids and Kak Yatmi, coz Kak Yatmi needed to take passport foto for renewal process. When we're on our way back, I was already reversing my car and ready to take off when suddenly another car in opposite parking space reversed his car and hit mine. It was obviously his fault and he admitted it. Given that he was very softspoken, I toned down my voice and was supposed to follow him to a workshop to repair the damage. It was nothing much, just a little dent at one of the passenger's door that needed some knocking. Since the kids were with me and Afiq was terrified because he was actually in the car with me (Kak Yatmi and Afif were waiting by the roadside), I had to send them home first. So I exchanged phone no with that hit man and he promised to take me to the workshop later when I'm free.

So when I finally free at around 3.30pm, I gave him a call and whamp! suddenly he had a change of mind. He tried to make it sounds like it was also part of my fault since I was also reversing my car. HELLO! It was sooo damn obvious he was at fault ok. And he gave lama excuses e.g his bumper was also dented (LIE! - I went and check myself ok!) but I sensed that he was a bit in doubt when he said that. Since he still talked politely, so I replied politely as well, but with a little rise in my voice. He should know who's the victim here. He tried to argue his case again, but when I politely said

"Apa-apa pun bukan saya yang langgar awak kan?"

He muted. He then gave me the address of the workshop (its quite near to my place) so I went and searched for it. Thank God it only cost RM50 - he happened to know the workshop owner so it's cheaper than I thought. The hitman still called few times to check whether my car is ok (while it's being repaired) so I took that as being responsible for his act. After all, he is a polite young man.

Since I have a very soft spot for polite men, (and lucky him I like his name so much), I simply halalkan the charges on him. And he seemed so delighted to hear that. Oh well. I'm not going to go and meet him at his bank (he works for a bank) and claimed RM50 for the repair charges. It's not even worth my minyak ok - going rounds like that.

Just consider that as a random act of kindness. Apalah sangat harga RM50 dengan pahala yang aku dapat kan?

p/s don't tell my sis. Sure dia bising I didn't claim from the guy.

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

First of all, like everyone knows, Spain won Euro 2008. A deserved winner, I dare say. Spain is not my favourite team, but for I respect them for what they've achieved. They've proved that with such young and talented players + a good coach + interesting game play, winning is not something impossible. Hey, even if I'm a Red Devil, it doesn't mean that I can't appreciate talents right? Torres is wonderful as always (we better watch out for Liverpool next season) and Fabregas is surely one player with lots of talents and integrity. And I really respect that.

Secondly, I know some of you may not be interested in hand-made arts, but I really do. Since I'm opening Miyyah@Kertas just for the purpose, I'm offering some sweet, paper-made with love name tags for you to grab. For FREE. (Don't you guys love free stuff?). For details, click HERE.

Thirdly, I'm so in the mood to update daily lately. Part of it is because I know later in July till September, I would be busy with classes once more and may not be able to commit much.

Plan to have a movie marathon tomorrow. Haven't decided where yet, but most probably @ One Utama (so that I could scrapshop later on). Plan to watch Sepi, Bank Job and The Nanny Diary. I'm still a student remember, and students do get great discounts on everything hehehe! Lain kali kalau nak tengok wayang, jangan lupa ajak aku ok!